For someone who has no issues finding ways to spend money, the holidays are tough, but so are after the holidays. There are so many sales and with online shopping, it is so easy to find something you want. My email is filled with endless temptation: 50% or more off, BOGO, clearance, etc.
I have always struggled with depression and found that getting a “good deal” helped me combat that and feel good. What it has left me with is a lot of “stuff” and feelings of guilt. I need to get rid of the clutter, but it is hard when I have unopened items or clothes with tags on them to donate them when I know how much money I wasted on that “good deal.”
This is my new struggle. I fight the urge to shop and check out my wish lists and you would think it would be easy considering I know the guilt that comes after the initial high. However, it isn’t, my mind finds ways to justify it so it is a constant battle with myself.
I should focus my time and energy on exercise or organizing the house, something that would be healthy and make me feel good. For some reason, that doesn’t interest me and I find myself either surfing the net or trying to sleep the time away. I know it isn’t good, and yet I cannot make myself flip the switch to change.
This isn’t all day as I do work and that can occupy a majority of my day, but my work allows me access to my email at all times so I still get the notices. So it is temptation all day long. I do unsubscribe, but since I just purchased items for gifts, I receive a lot of messages from the stores I purchased those items.
I did feel like I had a win this year. I often buy myself what I want instead of saving items for Christmas ideas for my family. I managed to restrain myself for the most part this year and provide the most wanted items to my husband. This was a big step as it is usually a fight because he likes to give gifts and I make it difficult.
In 2018, we attended sessions on financial peace and we would like to implement them. This means I will need to set an actual budget and stick to it. This will be difficult, but since I am a check box person and like to make lists, etc. this should be another task to help me occupy my time.
I know some might say why not give to charity or something instead of wasting the money. First, I do give and donate time to charity. It is like an addiction on retail therapy. It makes me feel better temporarily, but guilty later. So tonight instead of online shopping, I decided to write this and try to face my issues.